Skip to content

Day 4 of 365 – Weekend as usual / 1.1.2012

January 1, 2012

This weekend is unusual only in the fact that we set foot in the new year 2012. The celebration was engaging with my perfect family. I love them.

Today, very calm nice day, enjoyed with my children. Definitely, I did even feel the appetite to smoke a cigarette. As I thought, the weekend never was the problem.

The peristalsis issue, recorded yesterday, stepped backwards. I feel comfortable and good. I ate moderately. Maybe, it also helped.

In fact, I’m writing bullshit now. Why? Because, it is fucking easy to be without cigarette over the whole weekend for me.

Tomorrow will reveal the big stress, the big issue. As I already wrote, my first steps in the morning go usually to caffé to take a breakfast, but I have to avoid it tomorrow, because all my visits were connected with the several cigarettes during the breakfast. I have to avoid it on Monday. I have to change my rituals, I have to find new favorite places in my city, because I do not think I would be able to sit in my usual caffé’s location without the cigarette. At least, I would not be able to avoid it for the first couple of months. Maybe, I can do later, eg. on May, June, small test to visit my usual locations, but I’m sure, I have to avoid to visit it tomorrow.

It might seems like an extraneous idiocy, but I’m sure, it is important to avoid all potentially risky situations. I would expect hard day itself and do not want to support the possible failure of my determination to not take another cigarette in my life.

I’m sure I have to be very strict to keep my mind under strict control at least for the first three months. It wouldn’t be probably straight and easy, but it is necessary. I do not want to get the cancer.

One small issue have revealed slightly today, I started to cough up, what is considered as the start of the self cleaning process of my body. I assume that the intensive coughing will trouble me for roughly two weeks and then will disappear itself. That’s not a real issue, just a small discomfort, what is externally visible like I got a cold.

I assume that the most problematic fact for many weeks will be a psychological aspect of the cigarette, mainly in common situations, in restaurants, in caffés.

I think I do not have the physical addiction on the nicotine (I know myself for years) and if I have an addiction on it, this one is very small and is not important for the success of my experiment. I feel that the main addiction, the psychological aspects of the cigarette, can be my biggest challenge in the fight with the addiction on cigarettes.

I feel a slight ache on my back, directly under the neck part of the back. Sometimes I feel it, the most of the times I do not feel it. Can it be some feeling from the deepness of the lungs? I dunno. Shit, I have stupid thought, but I can’t help thinking of it.

The current weight: 81 kg, what is o.k.

I very happily stepped into the new year.

The tomorrow, the Monday, 2nd of January, the first stress, the big load of apples will be probably eaten. I am looking forward to my behavior. How will I not take the cigarette? I gonna see…


From → diary, experiment, smoking

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: